If I’m completely honest, it’s been really difficult for me to overcome quite a few insecurities throughout my life. I’ve spent countless hours in front of the mirror, inspecting my face and body from every angle in every variation of light. I’ve taken millions of selfies only to scrutinize my every feature and posted them on social media anyway because I needed validation that I was obviously incapable of providing for myself.
I could find something wrong with every part of me, and I was never going to be happy with the way I looked, no matter what I did to change my appearance or how many times someone else told me I was beautiful. When I worked out enough to have abs, I’d still be upset about the cellulite on my thighs. When I got my hairline adjusted by an electrologist to be more ‘normal’, I’d fixate on how crooked my nose was. When I got a birthmark removed, I’d focus on how much I hated the scar. I was completely obsessed with my imperfections and allowed them to shape me into this insecure person who only saw the worst in herself. I was, as the saying goes, my own worst critic, and I knew it. One thing I didn’t know though was where this desire to be so inhumanly flawless came from.
Even before Instagram models were a thing (I know I’m dating myself here), I compared myself to the pretty girls in class, at the mall, at my dance competitions. I always put them up on pedestals and considered them everything I wanted to be – they’d get all the guys’ attention, they’d never have to worry about looking or feeling ugly a day in their lives, they were ‘perfect’ in my eyes and I wanted to be them. I wanted to be PERFECT.
Though I try so hard to see my own worth and build up my confidence, I still struggle (even in my late 20’s) with insecurities on a daily basis. I don’t think that will ever not be the case. But, the point is I think we all fight this battle to some capacity. I think some hide it a little better than others and some do an amazing job at pretending everything in their lives is perfect because they don’t want anyone to see them be vulnerable.
My question is, why is being PERFECT something we strive and feel compelled to compete for, especially if no one in the world has ever even come close to achieving it. Perfection will never even be fact – we all view it as something so vastly different and usually it’s the label we give to attributes we know are impossible for us to attain. It’s a word that at its core is designed to set us up for failure and to keep doubt and fear alive. But in reality, perfect is boring – it’s predictable and from a place like that, there’s nowhere to go but down.
So, I’m going to make a vow, right here right now, to accept my flaws as my own, as special, unique and insanely frustrating as they may be. I will accept the fact that I will NEVER be perfect, no matter how many things I try to change about myself, and realize that’s a GOOD thing. It means I’m human, and I’m certainly not alone.
I challenge you to free yourselves from the heavy chains of impossible standards. Choose #love and #respect over #perfect and #goals. Physical beauty is not a competition. Find the things you’re proud of, that make you feel confident, and start taking a look at what’s really in the mirror, not what your mind tricks you into believing is there. Tell yourself that you can be beautiful and flawed at the same time. It’s more than OK to be imperfect. In fact, it’s a completely necessary part of being human.
You are beautiful despite the things that make you insecure and despite all the negative criticism you make yourself believe. Perfect is not and never will be the goal. The goal is to accept yourself and love yourself foremost, flaws and all.
